Things are changing around here.
After worrying about pacifiers for over 3 years between Carmen and Nora, I’m officially free…
For at least 6 months, I plan to enjoy every second of it.
It was becoming a little out of hand.
Reaching for it when scared, nervous, bored, or winding down.
We limited pacifier use to bed-time ONLY, and that worked pretty well.
But with her increasing words and just saying it’s time…
it was time.
We watched Elmo movies and clips to get Nora all set. Carmen was a big helper.
We got a special balloon and tied them all to it. (they were too heavy, so you know, we made it work 😉 )
She goes outside to wave to them, and sometimes talks about how they’re in the sky…but so far so good.
She even got a certificate to celebrate.
I was so proud of her going through something hard.
Taking a risk, and me being firm…not rescuing too quickly.
So this man, coach, therapist, leader shared some interesting things with FORBES.
Thought it was worth sharing, for all of us trying to raise strong leaders. (or break kids from pacifiers… haha)
1. We don’t let our children experience risk
2. We rescue too quickly
3. We rave too easily
4. We let guilt get in the way of leading well
5. We don’t share our past mistakes
6. We mistake intelligence, giftedness and influence for maturity
7. We don’t practice what we preach
“Risk–Kids need to fall a few times to learn it’s normal. If parents remove risk from children’s lives, we will likely experience high arrogance and low self-esteem in our growing leaders.
Rescuing– Today’s generation of young people has not developed some of the life skills kids did 30 years ago because adults swoop in and take care of problems for them. When we rescue too quickly and over-indulge our children with “assistance,” we remove the need for them to navigate hardships and solve problems on their own.
Raving– Kids eventually observe that Mom and Dad are the only ones who think they’re awesome when no one else is saying it. They begin to doubt the objectivity of their parents; it feels good in the moment, but it’s not connected to reality. When we rave too easily and disregard poor behavior, children eventually learn to cheat, exaggerate and lie and to avoid difficult reality. They have not been conditioned to face it.
Guilt--So tell them “no” or “not now,” and let them fight for what they really value and need. When one does well in something, we feel it’s unfair to praise and reward that one and not the other. This is unrealistic and misses an opportunity to enforce the point to our kids that success is dependent upon our own actions and good deeds.
Learning– Share how you felt when you faced a similar experience, what drove your actions, and the resulting lessons learned. Because we’re not the only influence on our kids, we must be the best
Independence–Just because giftedness is present in one aspect of a child’s life, don’t assume it pervades all areas. There is no magic “age of responsibility” or a proven guide as to when a child should be given specific freedoms, but a good rule of thumb is to observe other children the same age as yours. If you notice that they are doing more themselves than your child does, you may be delaying your child’s independence.
Model–As parents, it is our responsibility to model the life we want our children to live.”
Here’s to another day!