As I sat down to write this long-overdue blog post, I heard my little Nora stirring in the other room.

I immediately jumped up, went to her  side, gave her a smile, and cuddled her tight.


Because of Ruby.

Here is her story:

This is my cousin Matt and his sweet family.

I named my little Nora Jane Taylor, in part, after Ruby Jane Taylor. They are both January babies, about a year apart.

I thought the connection would remind me to treasure every second I have with her. I remember talking to Ani a few weeks before Nora was born, and mentioning that we were considering Jane as a middle name. She perked up, smiled and I hope I can uphold the legacy that little Ruby Jane has initiated.

Going along with this, the other day I took time to just lay on the bed with Nora.

I looked into her big eyes. I felt her Spirit.

Then thoughts of Ruby filled my mind. My heart was softened.

I felt that they had a connection of some kind, that maybe, they interacted on the other side.

Regardless of the details, I felt something tender.

Maybe it was because I took time to be a MOM.

To look in my child’s eyes. To hold her, kiss her and love her.

Something I now Don’t take for granted.

Here are my words I contributed to “How Ruby Changed my Life” 

(They made a book that was on display at Ruby’s funeral. Unfortunately, I wasn’t able to go, but my mom said it was simply beautiful.)

I remember waiting for little Miss Ruby Jane to come. I had just seen my cousin, Matt and his sweet wife Ani at Ryan’s wedding. They were counting down the days, and chasing Kate all around. I remember hearing that Ruby was born, and I was so thrilled. I knew Ani would take lots of adorable pictures and we’d all “oo and ahhh” over her new little one.

Then I remember the day Ani opened up. She opened her life to all of us. This brave act literally changed my life.

I remember thinking, “Wow, thank you Ani for sharing your story.” I had no idea how connected I would feel to Ruby throughout this journey. I would check Ani’s blog, almost daily.

I remember traveling with Ani through the stages of grief as I read her words. Tears would stream down my eyes, and I always sent prayers her way.

I would then put myself in her situation.

Would I be so strong?

Would I take Ruby out for walks around the hospital?

Would I curl up and go into a dark hole?

Would I be able to give my daughter shots, or constantly be bothered by nurses?

Would I be patient and wait for diagnosis, or would I get inpatient and angry?

So many thoughts would go through my head. Then I would look at a picture of little Ruby, and I could feel of her spirit. I thought, for her…I surely would try to do all those things. I would try my best to be the kind of mom Ani is.

I typically would read about Ruby while my little one-year-old girl was sleeping. She would wake up and I would run to her side. After reading from Ani, I didn’t want to waste a second. I used to just let her cry in her crib for awhile.

But not after reading about Ruby. I would hurry in, and give her a big kiss. I would whisper to her that I loved her, and I would tell her about Ruby. I am a better mom because I now am grateful for every second I have with my daughter.

Ruby’s stories made me treasure the precious moments as a mom. There is a bond that is undeniable  between a mother and child. Ani showed us that. Matt taught us that support is everything. Kate taught us that there are still reasons to smile. And Ruby taught us that there is nothing more precious than a little Spirit. May she rest in peace and may we all be changed by her story.

Thank you, Taylors for your openness and allowing me to be directly changed because of you. I will remember this forever.

Moving Forward

I hope you will share Ruby’s story and let it change you.

Ani has done so much to develop her foundation, write award-winning essays about motherhood...and Matt is always by her side as a super supportive spouse.

I feel blessed to call them family, especially because I know Families can be together Forever.

As I said, this is long overdue, because there are countless times I have sat at this computer overwhelmed by Ruby’s story and reading Ani’s blog. It put things in perspective for me, time and time again.

To all mothers out there…happy mother’s day.

It’s a calling that is too much for words.



4 responses to “Ruby

  1. So beautifully written Jill…Thanks for putting into words what we all feel. Of course I cried reading it. Because of Ruby, none of us will ever be the same. We love you so Ani, Matt, and Kate!

  2. She is so beautiful. The video literally brought me to tears. I couldn’t watch it all the way through the first time. Bless their sweet family. That sweet little girl will always be in my heart. Thank you for sharing Jill. Life is so precious.

  3. Pingback: Strong «·

  4. Just a beautiful post! Thank you Jill for bringing something special to my heart today. Let’s treasure every moment we have with each other. I am so thankful for The Plan of Happiness and that Families are Forever. A special prayer for these young parents with so much faith. Their little Ruby Jane will never be forgotten. Thank you for helping me put life into perspective and for feeling the Spirit of our Father in Heaven in abundance this morning.

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