I was debating on my word for today…release or or relinquish or remembering or letting go…but I decided on Release.

Let me tell you why.

I have a hard time letting go of people in my life. I have had the same best friend since childhood, and even more best friends since high school. I keep in contact with college buddies and just visited a few when I was in Utah. I love staying connected to people.

That’s why I love the gospel: Families are forever. Relationships are everything to me and my faith. That is why I put effort into being a wife, friend, mother, sister, daughter…I know those relationships extend into heaven.

What takes me to the “release” is what happens when those people are gone. My grandma died about a year ago, and I was able to pick out some tokens and things to remember her by. These will stand as a symbol of her throughout my life. It was a stepping stone in my ability to let her go.

Some people are harder to let go. It was my grandma’s time to go; and she was able to escape suffering. Her passing really was a release.

But what about those who leave unexpectedly? I realized that sometimes I can’t hold on to those people. Sometimes I have to hold on to a memory, feeling, or my faith. With divorce, those lines are hard to cross. It seems like it has to be so black and white. It has been a journey for me to release and heal.  I reflected on that this week, and I realized that there is a lot of hurt out there. So many people have to “let go” more often than me. They have to let go of dreams, future plans, security and trust. But they can look ahead to joy. I know there is joy to be found.

There are friends I haven’t talked to in months or years. I try to reach out, but they are distant and resistant. Our lives have grown apart. I remember how we’d laugh together in high school, and how we’d plan our lives…and I’m left wondering what they’re doing. Facebook only makes it worse, especially if they are no where to be found–even in cyberspace.

I am so happy to have people in my life who I love. My heart aches for my cousin, Ani, who lost her little girl at just 7 months. Her story, organ donation foundation, and her sweet little spirit will live on. It is so humbling and will move you to tears. Ruby has touched my heart, just like so many others in my life.

Then there’s the Sept 11th victims and their families. I hope after 10 years they know that “We will Never Forget.” Their stories still touch my heart and make me cry. Maybe I’m just emotional and pregnant. Who knows.  They have moved on with their lives, but the memory of that day will never go away.

After the release, it takes awhile to emotionally move on. I admire those who can, do and are pushing forward the best they can. This one’s for you.

Relationships mean more than anything. How are you treating the ones you love? Something to think about.


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