Today the world stood still. For a few minutes, it was as if someone had hit “pause.”
This was such a tender moment for me. I sometimes get so caught up going from one thing to the next, that this took me off guard.
I was on the computer, finishing up my web work. I heard Carmen waking up from her afternoon nap. Usually she will read and stir around for a little while, but this time I didn’t want her to wait. I was at a perfect stopping point, so I thought I’d go and get her out.
She was sitting up in the corner of the crib. She smiled behind her bright green pacifier. She got excited and stood up, wanting me to pick her up. I lifted her our and gave her a big squeeze.
“How did you sleep Carmen? Are you happy you’re awake? Do you want to help me make some dinner?”
Then she rested her head on my shoulder.
That’s when I stopped.
It has been so long since she’s done that. She’s usually squirming around, wanting to walk, or just active. I thought back to when she was a little newborn. I’d hold her for hours and loved listening to her little heart beat. I’d curl her fingers around my hand, and treasure the moment.
As I stood there holding her, I ran my fingers through her hair. I could feel my breath on her neck and her body was heavy. She is getting so big.
That is what makes being a mom so incredibly worth it. The times when we just pause and really think about what it means. The connection is there. The love is present. We just sometimes have to stop and feel.